Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Indy's Back! Indy as in Indecisive!

Everything depends on everything else.
Bringing D back home for school has to be arranged around my work. My work may need to depend on benefits. I've never had any health benefits since the boys' dad was gone, I always saved up money and went to the doctor or, for a while, the boys were on state Medicaid. Luckily, we're generally healthy. Now it's a consideration again. If I work full-time during the day to get benefits, can I still homeschool him? The main reason he's in school is to be with other people, he dislikes being alone. His brother would be here, but sleeping.

I can't tell for sure if school is working or not, he's way behind because of homework. Can a kid get an ulcer?!
Today I have an interview for a part-time job that I'm sure has no benefits and won't pay enough to live on. I can get two part-time jobs or find a full-time job OR take this P/T if it's offered and find a way to make some more $$ at home. That will be perfect if I need to have D at home. Of course, this option will make ME be the one to start worrying! Who guarantees that I'll actually be able to make up that money anyway?

Also I wonder if keeping him home will keep D from ever learning to adapt to this world. He's v-e-r-y slow and methodical.

I'm looking at everything from a mother's perspective; from a woman's perspective; from a human perspective. Maybe I should look at this from God's perspective but I don't know what that is other than that this world isn't what's important. How does that play out in making a decision? I told D that if it was horrible at school and he totally hated it, he could come back home. He says it IS like that but I think the part he hates is fixable, he doesn't think it is. Until I work out a solution, he feels that I've betrayed him! Plus I keep finding courses and websites and books that I want to share with him - there's no time for even thinking of that while he's in school.